Homeowner lets her parents, brother, brother's girlfriend, and nephew live in her basement, parents demand she let her brother's family move upstairs: 'I work from home as a therapist and see clients upstairs.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 10, 2026 8:00 AM EST

If they don't like the living situation, they can leave!

You'd be surprised how many people let their family members live in their house and totally take over the place. They are totally willing to enable their adult children who don't have jobs because "they're going through a rough patch," and yet make no effort to get out of said rough patch. They let their aging parents treat them like a child, even though they're the ones who are paying all the bills. They have to clean up after their uncle, even though he's a grown man who could easily take care of himself if he put in just the smallest bit of effort. 

If you're going to open up your home to others out of the kindness of your heart, some ground rules need to be established. It might feel weird to draft up a lease for your kin, but it might be necessary if you think your kin might take advantage of your kindness. If you own your home, you're in a better position to kick someone out who is overstaying their welcome, but there are always squatter's rights. If you rent, a guest could establish residency after only 30 days in your place, so you'd better be careful about who you're letting become an "unofficial" roommate. There's nothing worse than living with someone who refuses to agree to basic house rules, and it can be hard to stand up to your roommates if they're also your parents. 

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  • A living room filled with furniture next to a kitchen
    via Yevhenii Deshko (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The therapist in this story wants to help everyone in her family. She has opened up her basement to her parents and her brother's family, but her parents are feeling a little cramped. They want her to move her brother's family upstairs, but there's one problem. She works with clients from home, and she doesn't want to compromise their privacy. 

  • Am I wrong for letting my brother, his girlfriend, and my nephew live in my parent's apartment in my house?

    My parents live with me not the other way around. I own a large house with an in-law suite in the basement.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • A few years ago my parents retired and I let them move into the suite in the basement.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • There are no stairs for them because my home is built on a slope so the can walk out.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • There are also windows that face the pond behind my house. It isn't a dank little hole or anything.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • It also has two bedrooms since they sleep separately. I have the upstairs to myself. They do not have access except when we eat together a few times a week.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I work from home and see clients privately. For that reason my level of the house is very secure and my office moreso.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I have my bedroom, my space for seeing clients, my office, and a spare room on my level.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • My brother lost his job in November and had enough savings to last him until early January.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • He is somewhat irresponsible. He has an education he just feels like it should have guaranteed him a better position in life without actually having to work for it.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • A person in a graduation gown holding a diploma
    via Hatice Baran (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • His girlfriend is on maternity leave with their first child. Besides my brother. My parents told them that they should come stay with us since we have room.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • We don't, I do. They showed up by surprise with a uhaul full of their stuff.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I wasn't home. They unloaded it and not my garage. When I got home I discovered all this.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I was a little upset but I dealt. I called a moving company and a local self storage place.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • Everything got moved out of my garage. While that was happening | had a talk with my family.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I asked what ways going on and got the full story. We sat in the dining room in my area.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I gave my brother and his girlfriend a tour of my area of the home since they had never been here before.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • My client area freaked them out. Afterwards I ushered everyone downstairs and said goodnight. They all looked confused.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I said that I hadn't invited them to stay with me and that they were guests of my parents.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I told them that they could stay as long as they wanted and to not come upstairs without permission.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • They can't anyways as both my front door and my door from the basement are deadbolted for security and privacy.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • My parents said that they thought I would clear out my office so that my brother could have two rooms.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • Home office painted green
    via Collov Home Design

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I asked why they thought that since they hadn't asked me about it. They had no reply.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • It's been a few weeks now and they are still working out the kinks. LoL. Sorry dumb pun.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • My parents like having their grandchild around but my dad has problems with the breastfeeding. My mom and dad ar sharing a room and not enjoying sleeping in the same bed.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • It's a little chaotic. But not my problem. They keep hinting that maybe my mom or dad could move upstairs.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I reminded them that my clients expect privacy and discretion. It wasn't an option. The other issue has been parking.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • One spot in my garage is reserved for clients. Many do not want their cars spotted at my house so they don't want to park on the driveway or the street.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • One client uses a carshare service just for visits with me. Anyways that's the full story.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • I know I'm not in the wrong but my family thinks I am. I'm posting this for judgement today so that they can read outside opinions.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • teresajs NTA Your parents invited them, so your brother's family can live in their space. If they aren't happy, they can find alternate accommodations. You need to guard your ability to perform your job because that's how you pay for your house (and other bills). Any thing that could negatively impact your job could cause you all to lose housing. And from the sounds of it, your job could not be performed in a shared space.
    via u/teresajs
  • No-Log-3371 Original Poster's Reply Nope.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • Ok-Pin-6955 NTA, YOUR house/place of business so it's YOUR decision. They should never had assumed that you would allow your brother to live in your space. I'd make it clear to them also that the garage is off limits as well as the upstairs. Eventually she's (fiance) is going to get tired of this and she's going to 1. make him move out with her or 2. move out and leave him. She's not going to want to raise a child like this.
    via u/Ok-Pin-6955
  • No-Log-3371 Original Poster's Reply Maybe. Or she will eventually go back to work and leave the kid with him. Or they both will and my parents will be watching him all day.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • Changeofscenery65 Your parents can get twin beds.
    via u/Changeofscenery65
  • No-Log-3371 Original Poster's Reply I think they are shopping for some.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • newbeginingshey Do any of these people pay rent? Because it sounds like the job you perform out of that office is currently paying for the roof over six people's heads. How exactly do they think you're going to keep supporting them without your office or the privacy the garage parking offers? Their requests are self-sabotaging.
    via u/newbeginingshey
  • No-Log-3371 Original Poster's Reply They are shortsighted. I am helping them see for themselves why this is unsustainable long term.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • dell828 Even in a landlord situation, tenants do not have the right to move other people into the property. I like that you are "giving them" permission to invite people to stay with them, but that's different than moving people in. This is your home... Why you feel the need to relinquish your ability to make decisions regarding it I have no idea.. This is a mistake. Take back ownership for your own property for crying out loud.
    via u/dell828
  • No-Log-3371 Original Poster's Reply When my parents moved in I told them that their area was their home and that other than basic courtesy and safety concerns they should treat it as their own property. There were legal documents signed to ensure that no actual property rights were inferred.
    via u/No-Log-3371
  • Due-Maintenance1 You made it clear in your post that it's your house but your home and your parents' home are strictly separate. They expected their guests to be in your home not in their home. That's the crux of the issue. Are you sure you've been clear with them that yes it's one building but 2 separate homes and they have no say in what goes on in your home? You can only afford to house your entire family through working. And obviously your clients pay you well and part of that pay is privacy
    via u/Due-Maintenance1
  • No-Log-3371 Original Poster's Reply They are well aware of my boundaries. If they have an issue I have offered them money towards an apartment.
    via u/No-Log-3371

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therapist baby brother homeowner household support structure bedroom nephew parents apartment
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